that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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