And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
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