And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
