God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
