Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
