god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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