Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
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