Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize