marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
so explain again why im purple
no
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Randomize
