i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
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