He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
