id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
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