if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
