So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
