The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
