I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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