dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Randomize
