That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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