I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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