i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
