Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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