i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Randomize
