i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
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