You work out of a Hotel?
It was confusing and full of hummus
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
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