i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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