I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
