Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
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