my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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