is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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