Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
