ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
