i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
last night I used snow as a chaser
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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