You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Randomize
