we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
