dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
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