The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
