new low.... made out with someone while peeing
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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