This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
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