She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Randomize
