Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
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