ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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