hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
Randomize
