After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize