When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
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