D3 body, D1 cock
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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