He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
