Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
