I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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