Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
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