I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Randomize
