There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Randomize
