Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
They have beer where we have blood.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Randomize
