1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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