Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
where are you?
Hypothermia
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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