Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
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