you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
