found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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