If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
