Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Randomize
