He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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