I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
