PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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