have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Randomize
