yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
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