thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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