she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
did you just send me my own nude
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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